Monday, July 27, 2009

Let's here it for Rickey

The above linked article is pretty much the funniest thing ever. I've always loved hearing about the wacky things my fave Oakland player, Rickey Henderson, would do and say. This is the greatest list ever put together.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

So help me Jesus

That's what you'll be thinking when it's my turn at karaoake! (If not saying it out loud). I need to stick to my usual stuff without high notes or West Coast rap. =)

This takes place at Tavern Bar in the Lakeside Inn at South Lake Tahoe. Booze fueled locals were screaming out rock tunes and a few had decent voices. We were passing by on the way to the blackjack tables and...well....this was a party I couldn't miss.

Commentary is provided by my cousin Sara. Make sure you catch the dance moves during the bridge. You have no idea how sober I was during this.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Friday, May 8, 2009

Kentucky Fried Chaos

Dear Mrs Winfrey,

Thank you, Oprah. You are amazing. Time again and again you accomplish others cannnot. Obama can't do it. Fiddy can't do it. Not even David Spade. No, I'm not talking about repeatedly losing weight and getting fat again. Oprah, you and only you, can mobilize the great unwashed masses to come together for the single noble cause of creating a trainwreck for my personal enjoyment. Not only was I entertained!! I also received free chicken! For this I thank you. Keep up the good work.



When I heard about this Oprah sponsored free grilled chicken meal stuff I knew I had to get there and fast. This was going to be too great a trainwreck to miss. I was absoutely giddy at the potentially chaotic combo of hot weather and huge cluster of hungry ghetto people coupon in hand.

As soon as I rolled up the tell tale signs were obvious: an overflowing dumpster, a huge line, more overflowing garbage inside with a booth being used as a landfill, and menacing scowl after menacing scowl. It was even better than I imagined!

At the front of the line was this irritated grown ass woman . She kept complaining that she was going to pass out if she couldn't get her chicken and leave. I couldn't help but chuckle with delight. This, of course, earned me serious stinkeye giving me even more joy.

"You know what reeaaaaally pisses me off?" I asked a less hostile lady in front of me. Her solemn look of concern faded into a smile when I sarcastically exclaimed, "Free stuff!" "If you didn't expect a long wait, you are pretty dumb", the lady in front of me added. I nodded in agreement.

Someone had to break up this tangible tension, and that someone is always me. =) So my next move involved mobilizing the kids in line. This nonsense had to be driving them crazy. I got them going with a cheerful, "free chicken, free chicken!" chant (I do like to chant). We shook our fists as we chanted. I think some thought I was trying to organize a coup or riot of some sort, but it was all in fun. Then it was time to make fun of the exasperated people that threw their hands up and left when they found out the hour plus wait time. For those folks the kids and I sang, "nah-nah-naaah-nah, nah-nah-naaah-nah, hey-heeey-heeey, gooodbyyye!". We did that about as many times as I could get away with and not have someone take a swing at me.

This helped pass the time until the KFC/A&W staff could fullfill their free chicken promise. The KFC/A&W staff warned us it be an hour and a half wait. I took about a 20 minute walk in addtion to the prior discussed debaucery to help pass the time. Boy did I feel sorry for those guys. I'm surprised we haven't heard of a KFC employee going on a killing spree by now. Those kids are heroes.

When an event this great happens there are always plenty of heroes to spread the love and credit for. This day was no different. Thank you all to to staff with their FML expressions, the unruly herd that somehow thought this would be a smooth process, and Oprah, of course. I don't know if the stars will ever be aligned quite so to create such a glorious trainwreck.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A DO original turkeyburger recipe: EL PAISA

If you know me, you know I am a huge fan of turkey burgers. I constantly experiment trying to find new and exciting ways to prepare this high protein, low fat nomnomnomfest of a meal. People tend to think they are dry or boring, but that's cuz the ones they eat suck. Mine do not.

This isn't my signature turkey burger style, but it is a great change of pace. The one "weird" non-normal ingredient used is the nopal (cactus). Cactus, in my mind, is severely underused. The texture is great and the nice slight bitter flavor goes great with meat. Don't worry, Whitey, you don't have to venture to the bad part of town at the market where they only speak Mexican to get it- Safeway carries it.

The turkey burger itself can be cooked just as easily on pan over the stove with a little olive oil or on the grill. Have a little vino or a beer with this and you are set. Honestly, I don't know if you are worthy or not, but here comes the recipe. I shall call this one El Paisa.

Stuff you need:

Turkey burger patty- Just get Kirkland ones from Costco, Fancypants
Nopales (cactus)- Cut about the size of turkey burger patty and dethorned
Pepperjack cheese- or not if you are watching fat content
Green leaf lettuce
Chipotle aioli -Tapatio is a very acceptable subsititute if you are cheap or watching fat content
Your favorite bun- no not those kinds of buns, jerks
olive oil
garlic salt
Optional: slice of tomato- do it if in season!

Season your fully thawed turkey burger patty liberally as Nancy Pelosi with pepper, and not so liberally with garlic salt and thyme. A grill should be fairly hot to cook the turkey burger-if you hold your hand above it for 3 seconds you should feel the need to pull it back. Make sure to brush a bit of olive oil on the patty or else it might stick to the grill. On a gas stove- medium heat. Cook until the patty starts to brown, then flip and cook until the other side starts to brown.

Brush the cactus with olive oil and cook it until the bright green fades and the areas where the thorns were removed slightly brown. Season the cactus with salt to taste.

Toast bun.

Slap your turkey burger, cactus, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, chipotle aioli (or acceptable substitute), and optional tomato slice on that toasted bun and eat that mother like a savage.


pics posted later